Very recently, in fact, today, I realized that I am a bit over divulging. I have a lot of Facebook friends, whom I do not know much about, some of them I know nothing about, not even their name or face. I have only accepted their friend request just because it's a friend request and I couldn't say no. I am no longer friends (either online or offline) with many friends who were near and dear to me once. I am blocked/ignored or on the restricted list on some users' settings.
Even though it hurts that I am unwanted, I couldn't do much if someone thinks I am not wanted and to be honest, I, myself ignore a lot of the people I know. I deliberately avoid eye-contact if they are in my presence or I just never bother. It might hurt less if someone whom you wanted to be friends with is not interested but it surely hurts every time you remember someone who has deliberately cut you off after months/years of friendship. Wait a second here, why am I whining as if I were a teenage girl suffering from identity crisis?
Returning to the main topic, why online, am I deliberately revealing a lot about myself? Just yesterday I finally hosted my personal website which I was putting off for months and more than ever, I accepted several long-pending requests from people I do not know and sent a lot LinkedIn connect requests. See, I almost never send out friend/connection requests. I just receive them and I nearly never say no. Whatever I post online will be visible and read by many who never really have any business to do with any of it, not to mention the bots and spiders of search-engines continuously looking for sensitive information.
Returning to the main topic, why online, am I deliberately revealing a lot about myself? Just yesterday I finally hosted my personal website which I was putting off for months and more than ever, I accepted several long-pending requests from people I do not know and sent a lot LinkedIn connect requests. See, I almost never send out friend/connection requests. I just receive them and I nearly never say no. Whatever I post online will be visible and read by many who never really have any business to do with any of it, not to mention the bots and spiders of search-engines continuously looking for sensitive information.
Website is one thing. I want to write posts like this and do programming projects which I want to share with everyone. I want to use my personal website as a showcase of my technical skills and expertise. Why am I over revealing myself? Why am I shouting out everything about my personal life in such an needless way? Why couldn't I be someone who will stay mysterious unless otherwise required? Why couldn't I stay unruffled? Why couldn't I let go of my past or not feel anxious of the future? Why couldn't I stay in the present? Why do I feel I have no control?
Eight years back, I used to chat pseudonymous with my cousin. It was fun while it lasted. After 6-8 months into it, I revealed myself and it didn't end well. We were teenagers and a budding friendship went down the drain. Within a year, I got an Orkut account and the online legitimacy felt very good. Every day, I used to get a friend request or two from my long-lasting high school friends. It was very exciting. Then I innocently tried to send a friend request to the cousin I just mentioned and she asked "do I know you?". She never talked again. Eventually I signed up with Facebook. There were not even privacy settings a that time and everything was publicly visible. Even after the settings were introduced, I never bothered to change them. Now everything is public.
After this experience, I can no longer keep myself concealed online and cannot reject a friend request and can never stop lamenting lost friendships. Get offline and have a life.
Eight years back, I used to chat pseudonymous with my cousin. It was fun while it lasted. After 6-8 months into it, I revealed myself and it didn't end well. We were teenagers and a budding friendship went down the drain. Within a year, I got an Orkut account and the online legitimacy felt very good. Every day, I used to get a friend request or two from my long-lasting high school friends. It was very exciting. Then I innocently tried to send a friend request to the cousin I just mentioned and she asked "do I know you?". She never talked again. Eventually I signed up with Facebook. There were not even privacy settings a that time and everything was publicly visible. Even after the settings were introduced, I never bothered to change them. Now everything is public.
After this experience, I can no longer keep myself concealed online and cannot reject a friend request and can never stop lamenting lost friendships. Get offline and have a life.
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